Life Update
I thought it was time for a little life update. My DMs are flooded with questions on a few different subjects from the last few months, so I wanted to chat some more about them.
Mental Health
Hindsight is always 20-20 right? The last few months have been filled with a lot of reflection and now I’m realizing that mental health should have been more of a priority in our home over the years. In our situation, I guess I had noticed things were not great for the last few years, but didn’t know how bad things were until Carey and I went to New York this summer for his knee surgery. I touched on the subject and all the stress we were under at that time in my previous life update blog post, which you can read here. I obviously knew it was a tense time, but had no idea it was part of a spiral that would ultimately lead to such a huge life change for us.
When dealing with any mental hardships, I think it’s easy to try to ignore and bury it for some time, but eventually it will make its way to the surface one way or another. Even after that trip to NYC, I didn’t have a clear picture of how difficult a time it was and was pretty blind sided, like most others would be, when Carey told me he wanted to enter a treatment facility. I encouraged him to do whatever he needed to do. I wanted to support him. We have a young family and I knew that needed to be our priority.
The next few weeks were a whirlwind! It was only four days after Carey shared the news with me that he walked out the door for what we only knew to be minimum 30 days, to a place I only knew from their website. I wasn’t even sure when we would be able to talk to him again.
Thats when things hit me. . .
What the hell just happened?
What is going on here?
What am I going to do?
What do I tell the kids?
What do I tell our friends?
What the hell do I say to the city?
My mind was racing.
My family out west was only a plane ride away, but ultimately didn’t end up coming to us, as I started to process things and navigate everything that was happening, which was at first hard but ended up being okay - thank goodness for FaceTime!
I also felt comforted in the idea that I would probably get some kind of support from the organization. The Canadiens have been family to us for the last 12 years here in Montreal. Luckily, I was able to speak with Marc Bergevin who had also been the person within the organization that Carey confided in when all of this went down in the first place. Although, once that passed, I started feeling really lost in how to navigate things. I was sad to see Berg let go, because we had gained so much respect for him during all of this. I felt like he genuinely cared about our circumstances and was in our corner; he seemed to understand what Carey and our family needed. I am, however, really happy to hear that with all of the restructuring within the organization that has happened since that time, Mr. Molson hopes to build a medical team dedicated to the mental health of the players. From our personal experience, I think it’s incredibly necessary and I hope that support will lead to the families of these athletes feel that they are supported in the process.
Knowing that I needed support, but not knowing where to get it was tough. Luckily, the families in the hockey community are freaking amazing people. The girls here in Montreal delivered so many meals. I think I only cooked dinner once the whole month Carey was away. My doorbell was constantly ringing with flowers, gifts, ice cream, and deliveries from friends and even brands I have worked with. It was beautiful to see so many people, who I would never have asked or suspected, step up in my time of need. And, I truly thank God for a hockey wife that I am friends with - she made an introduction to the NHL alumni association where I was able to speak to a counselor to get my questions answered. It gave me some clarity on how we should handle things. It was then that I finally hit a turning point, which made the whole month more bearable.
Since Carey’s return we are still learning our new normal and making our mental health a priority. I went to my first real one-on-one therapy session a few weeks ago and I’m excited to have started couples therapy with Carey, so we can navigate this new normal together.
CHic collection
After questions regarding Careys health, the next most asked question is “when will there be another CHic collection drop?”
With everything that has transpired in my life over the last few months and everything that is still lingering with Covid; Julie and I didn’t feel comfortable putting so much of ourselves into that project anymore. We both miss it, it’s been one of the most fun projects we have been involved in and we are so grateful to have had the opportunity, but it’s something the two of us had to scale back from. We felt we had to prioritize ourselves and the well being of our families, so we don’t spread ourselves too thin like we did during playoffs last year. The saddest part about it all is Luma, the Director of Habs Retail, whom we worked hand in hand with, has become such a friend and mentor to us! We deeply miss working with her and her team. There are a few people in the organization who really stand out to me as stand up people, and Luma Saman is definitely one of them. So, with that said, it’s too early to say if CHic will return next year without Julie and I, but there will always be opportunity for the Habs to carry Line Change one day, if they will have us!
Vaccine status
Lastly, everyone wants to know why I choose not to disclose my vaccination information.
First of all, I’ve opened my mouth about vaccines before and my words were twisted and it became a whole thing in the news for weeks, as I was labelled as someone who I am not. So, there may be some residual feelings from that experience that is influencing my silence to date.
Mostly, I think this topic is being used by people in authority to turn us against each other and it is encouraging division in a time when we desperately need to come together. I refuse to play that game. So, I will leave it at this: I will NEVER support division, hate, bullying, shaming, or guilting another individual for what they choose to do with their bodies. I want more than anything for this all to be behind us; I want us all to feel safe and healthy when we choose to walk out our doors and I hope that is in the near future for all of us. In the mean time, I wish every family well in making the slew of tough decisions that families have had to make over the last two years. We are all trying to navigate this as best as we can with so much uncertainty surrounding every decision and I truly do feel everyone is trying to do what feels best for their family based on the information they have.
I hope this helps to answer any of the questions you may have had and I am really looking forward to moving towards better in 2022, with all of this new information in hand. We are taking this new year to focus on family, on our health (both mental and physical) and making it the best year, yet! I can’t wait to have you all on the journey with us.
Much Love,
